So we just taught a class this weekend and I experienced more presence and awareness in my teaching. What a wonderful experience! That means that somehow I let go of more of my interfering patterns and was able allow that state of simple awareness and spaciousness to come through. In the moments when I am able to sit in this space, as in this moment, I am aware that I love being here, even though there are parts of me, personality and egoic parts, that fight against being here. It’s crazy because it feels so good to be here! Why would any part of myself fight against this when I love it? It is so quiet and peaceful, and I am not even in the deepest presence I have ever felt, and yet this is so good! Being in this wonderful and simple consciousness feels like home. If I could describe this, it would be to say, I am clear. I have visual clarity and a broader awareness of my energy and space. I feel connected. I feel focused and non-emotional, and in this moment I am simply choosing words which best describe my experience. I am choosing to stay in the energy of just feeling and just experiencing and not thinking. When my will is aligned like this, it is very simple, but there are definitely times of conflict within me. In this blog I get to describe the presence I am sitting in. All the emotions that I have ever felt are still somewhere around me, but in this moment they are not within me, and that feels like calmness. I don’t have to push or punish myself or do anything to motivate myself. Because in this place I am naturally motivated. So I invite you too to choose to find this place within yourself and just be aware, open and accepting of whatever shows up, even if it is the noise of your mind. For as you become aware of that noise, if you can accept that you can’t change it but just allow a little space around it without judgment or shoulds, it will eventually pass, and all will be well.
So things are finally beginning to change in your life. You are more aware. You are less reactive, and you keep your balance more consistently.This is good, right? This is what you wanted, right? Now what?
Now more than ever it is important to stay aware of what is happening within you. Recognize that your thinking is not all that important. It is mostly just useless chatter that keeps the ego engaged. So try this: Just look, just feel, and Just observe. Sit back without analyzing, without judging and processing everything that comes into your field of awareness. What does that feel like?
One technique for doing this non-doing is to move your awareness out of the front of your eyes and look at what you are doing with your peripheral vision. Then feel your arms, legs and feet, and then connect to your heart. A release breath should come spontaneously. Try it. It feels better right?
Taking this moment is no big deal. It’s simple and yet how often do we do it? Again feel what that feels like when you do that. What changes? Do things feel easier? Do they feel better? Is there less reactive energy happening? The ego loves the drama, the problems and the stress, but peace is so nice. Don’t you like the ease? Don’t you like the simplicity?
Do you really prefer the feelings of stress? What do you want to accomplish in your life? Do you want to accomplish a lot of stuff and get a lot done, or be at peace while you fulfill the things that you find important? It’s time to set your priorities. What’s more important, getting a lot of stuff done, or feeling connected? You can still do things, but try it from this more detached and open place. When you do this life feels worth living and more meaningful. So that’s my practice for today.
Every day and in every moment we have a choice, a choice to choose being in alignment with our Source or not. This choice is really based on a feeling. How do we want to feel? Do we want to be in a higher vibration or a lower one? In each moment we can choose to either sit in the place where we are connected to the observer self, the being self, the higher self, or the reactive self. When we let go to this place of simplicity and awareness, we access a broader awareness from which we can choose what is aligned with our true hearts desire, and not simply be thrown about by our whims and habits. This is a choosing place that has real depth and connection. It is a place where we can see and feel what is right for us and moves us towards what we really want and not just toward a temporary impulse. So this is my choice today, to choose to act more and more from my deeper awareness, an awareness that comes out of stillness, an awareness that is centered by peace and a sense of coherence. For that is the place where all our hearts are joined. That is the place where we all connect to Source and all have an intuitive knowing of the truth and infinite joy that is accessible there. If we can allow ourselves to drop our fears and use our heart centered awareness more and more each day we will find the peace we are looking for. So I choose it now. Are you ready? You don’t have to be, but it does feel better and definitely more satisfying than choosing based on whim, reactivity, or habit.
As most of us who are actively working on ourselves know, changing old patterns is not an easy thing. Some of these patterns are deeply engrained, and some of these patterns are even below the radar in areas of our consciousness that we try to avoid, are afraid of or don’t know what to do with when we are aware of them.
This is very common for we all live in the world and have been exposed to many different kinds of people, thoughts, and situations, many of which were, or are unpleasant and unhealthy. When these parts of ourselves pop out they are often in stark contradiction to what we say we want, and yet there they are right smack in the middle of our field of awareness, either yelling at us, threatening us, or complaining about what we are doing. It requires real awareness and composure to be able to sit still and simply observe without reaction these very unpleasant parts of our mind. It’s hard to be kind and compassionate with these parts. They can be harsh, forceful, and pushy. Even when they try to dominant our minds the key to working with them is simple – They must be acknowledged and accepted as they are. As unpleasant and noisy as they are we must be understanding with them. We must be compassionate and loving towards these parts no matter what they say. Sometimes they are so loud and dominant we think they are us, but they are simply a voice or thought form within our field of consciousness. When we recognize this we may try to fight back against them or even push them out, but this does not work either. We must accept them as they are and keep breathing. When we do this something remarkable happens. Over time they begin to loose their disruptive influence and power. Situations may occur in our lives that trigger and reactivate them, but as we learn to breath and give love and understanding to them they cease interfering with what we want and how we want to feel. And so we must learn to make peace with all our parts, in order to find true peace within. This is how we actively and consciously move beyond these old patterns. And the effort is worth it!